When I was in my last year of college at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, I decided to take a 400 level English Literature class for credit/noncredit to boost my electives so I could graduate in four years.

After seven years of wearing uniforms at St. Andrew’s Priory, which often were hot and uncomfortable and having about twenty-five extra pounds on me, my uniform of choice was a tee shirt, shorts, and sneakers…not much has changed in forty years…

When I walked into that class, there stood the Professor all of 5’4” tall with thick coke bottle glasses in his perfectly ironed white short-sleeve shirt and paisley tie…He was extremely gaunt with absolutely no body fat making the veins on his arms pop out so large that I actually wondered if the University paid him enough to eat daily…I later found out he actually was not only a full tenured professor, but also had ceremonial duties with the school…

He looked up and down at me when I walked in and my gut immediately told me he wasn’t a fan of mine...His “pet” was Carol who came to class in full make-up, dresses, stockings, and 2-inch black heels in 85 degree heat…Her long blonde hair naturally flowed over her shoulders…I thought, she was the epitome of what he believed a woman was supposed to be; demur, quiet, ultra-feminine, and in dresses all the time…

I ignored my gut feelings and continued with the class as I enjoyed reading the Classics…

One morning, I showed up to class carrying my tennis racquet and he said in front of the entire class, “Why Miss Sofos, I am truly shocked! I thought you were averse to exercise”.  I said, “I love to play tennis”.  He snively continued, “With all that extra weight you have, I am truly very surprised you could run for the ball…”

He then chuckled, obviously pleased with himself and began his lecture…Before I sat down, I scanned the classroom…everyone had their heads down and said nothing…

Our last essay prior to the final exam was on Charles Dickens’, David Copperfield and I used three quotes from Cliff Notes, I was fine on the first two, but somehow failed to quote the third one.

After reading my paper, the Professor immediately called me into his office.  “I KNEW you were lazy and a cheat the moment you walked into my class…You disgust me…I want you to have one of your parents and you meet with me on Friday at 8 am.  Do you understand or is this difficult for you to comprehend?”

In total shock, I just nodded and left…At the appointed hour two days later my mother accompanied me to his office...

He was pleasant at first, but then launched into his diatribe about me, “Your daughter needs to resign from the University immediately…She is not college material…Look at her, you can see with her overweight and sloppy look she does not have the mental capacity for college.  She needs a trade school or labor work, but she is not smart or able enough to be here…cheating is all she is capable of…”

My mother stopped him in midsentence…

“How dare you?  Who do you think you are to tell me or her what she is capable of…WHO are YOU to decide her fate in life?  Why, because she missed one of her quotes?  Was her essay good?  Did she understand the concepts of the novel?”

He started stammering and said, “She’s a CHEATER! I don’t know where she got her understanding of the book…maybe she paid someone to help her…”

Again, Mom fumed, “How arrogant you are to make assumptions and if you continue this line, I will have your job and DO NOT underestimate me and think I am stupid!”

He stood up and said, “I will be taking this to the English Department Chairman and he has the power to remove her…”

Mom cut him off again and said, “Go ahead, I look forward to hearing from him…”

We walked out and Mom said, “If that little prejudice Prick says anything more about you, then I will take it to the next step…NO ONE determines your life, only you!”

My Mom was always my advocate and she taught me a lot that day…As we were later having coffee, she said, “There will always be people who will not like you, whether it’s your looks, the color of your skin, or even the job you hold…Prejudice and jealousy comes in all forms.  Some people get stuck in their own prejudices and can’t see past their own noses…This man dislikes you because you are overweight.  Hate and envy are often hidden in the smiles of people.  Remember the Devil was the most handsome of the Angels and could charm anyone until he was able to control and destroy them…So you need to be aware all the time of who you can really trust in life…DO NOT ignore your gut feelings again…”

She went on, “You need to always be brave even when you are not…No one guards your destiny, only you…And it is up to you to stand up for yourself alone for what is right…Sometimes circumstances will not favor you, but overall, in the end, standing up for yourself when you are truthful will comfort and carry you through…”

Two days later, the Chairman called Mom and passed on me, but I wasn’t allowed back into class so I ended up with a no-credit for the course and had to take summer classes…I did graduate in August rather than May like I hope for, but still finished in four years.

My greatest lesson in college was one of my most difficult times of having someone try to destroy me because of my looks…I have never forgotten that experience and in some of my most trying times, I often hear my mother’s words…”Always be brave even when you are not”…and those words have continued to carry me through the difficult roads of my life…