IMG_0071.jpg

The Diva Speaks

Observations and opinions about Hawaii

Happy Birthday To My Big Bro ©

Steven and I in our twenties

My big brother Steven is having a birthday this week and I have been trying to think of what I could give him as a present.  However, he is very particular in everything he has or wants, so for this birthday I decided to tell everyone why I love him.

Sibling relationships have their ebbs and flows and over the years and we have had ours, but even through we do not see each other as often as we would like, we remain loyal friends.

Steve has always been a hero of mine since we were little.  He taught me how to ride a bicycle, how to play tennis at Kapiolani Park at 6 am as I complained and whined I needed coffee, how to surf, and how to drive a stick-shift car.  He went to my swim meets and I came to all of his games when he was the manager for the Punahou football team in his senior year.  I even went to his BORING track meets, but was excited when his four-man relay team won the State Championships.  This was an amazing feat because he was born with such severe asthma that his doctors told my parents he would not live pass the age of forty.

When I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do after college it was he who convinced me to get into real estate as he had done.

Steven can be a very stubborn fellow, but after one of his failed relationships, I told him I knew someone and introduced him to one of my dearest friends who was perfect as she was gorgeous, smart, and funny.  They ended up married, still are, and created a beautiful daughter, much like her mother.

People often ask me what is the difference between us and I always say, Steve is the smart one and I am the charming one.  But in realty, we are both very similar with the exception that I am a bit more introverted and analytical, while he is the master of sales and marketing.  And if the truth be told, even through he is fierce in real estate negotiations; I think he has a bigger heart then I do when it comes to animals, friends, and family.

When our mother became sick and wheelchair bound, I became her primary caregiver.  For eight years, I took care of her and there were many stressful times, especially since I continued to work full time.  Steve was building his company, Sofos Realty, Inc. back then, had a young family and I told him I would only call for help if I really needed it.

In my sixth year of watching out for Mom, the week before Christmas when everyone was so busy, Mom got violently ill over something she ate and was taken by ambulance to the Kaiser Moanalua hospital.  In my haste, I jumped into the “bus”, got all her paperwork and medicine, but forgot my wallet.  ER stabilized her within two hours and she was released, but I only had $2.00 in my pocket.  There was no Uber then and cabs were not equipped to take someone in a wheelchair.  I called Steve’s office and asked for him.

“Sorry, he’s in a very important meeting with Costco from Kirkland, Washington, they are his biggest client and he can’t be interrupted”.

“Please, it’s about our Mom”.

The receptionist reluctantly agreed. Within five seconds, he was on the phone with me.

“Steve, can you come get us at the hospital when you’re done. I don’t have any money with me and can’t take Mom in a cab.  No rush.  Take your time, we’re fine”.

He said “Okay” and hung up.

I figured it was now 3:30 pm and traffic was heavy, it would be at least an hour before we would see him.  I asked the Triage Nurse if he could watch Mama so I could go to the bathroom and he agreed.  I left, went to the bathroom and stopped to get a cup of coffee at a vending machine down the hall.  My little trek took maybe fifteen minutes at the most.

When I came back to the ER area, there was Steven and the nurse getting Mom into his car.

“Wow!  Did you fly here?”

“You told me you would never call unless you REALLY need help so I got here ASAP and rescheduled my meeting.  I hit 80 mph in a few stretches”.

“Please drive slow now.  I really need my coffee”, I said.

“Yeah, the whole world knows you can’t function without your three cups per day”.

We both laughed and off we went back home.

I have only seen my brother cry three times in my life, twice when he found out our father and our brother Buddy had died, and when he came to say good-bye to Mama when she was dying.  He was her favorite child and she waited until he arrived from a ten-hour flight from Asia.  He saw her at 9 pm and she died the next day.

To many people Steve is a tough son-of-a-bitch in business, many love him and several hate him, we are similar in this part of life as we are both extremely direct and can polarize.  We can also be quite the contrarians.

For me, he is someone I have always admired because even though he was so sickly growing up; born premature and weighting in at 3.6 pound at birth with asthma, jaundice, and allergies, he created the largest locally owned real estate company in Hawaii.  He is also a good husband and father and is extremely generous to many causes, especially when it comes to animals.

Steven is the person who has influenced me most of my life.  As we get older, the bottom line is I have his back and he always continues to have mine as all quintessential big brothers have done for their baby sisters.    

So Happy Birthday Steven and I love you and look forward to sharing many more birthdays with you. And the coffee is on me!!!

Stephany Sofos