My Mama's Lessons On Life©
My Mother was born on 9/11 and died September 29th…Both days mean a lot for me and not a day goes by that I don’t think or talk to her as I believe she is my Guardian Angel…And sometimes in the still of the night, I can here her wisdom…
Mama was born in America, but raised in Greece, so her first language was Greek…She came back to America when the Nazis invaded Athens…She was only 16 years old and did not get to see her parents again for another 28 years…
She always said what she was thinking and sometimes folks would often become offended, especially other Greeks who continued to live in their patriarchal society…But you always knew where you were in her biosphere…We are much alike in this regard…
Mama taught me so many things, but the five most important lessons were these:
First, Where you live: She told me when she was coming into Honolulu as a new civilian employee for the government on a Navy LST and was on the deck as the sunrise was coming up, she saw the Waianae mountains, and knew she was home…”It was so beautiful and looked so much like Greece, I immediately knew I now had MY home”…She always told me, live where you will be happy, not for finances or a man, because if you love where you live, everything will fall into place…She was right about that…Hawaii is my home too and even with the stress of affording it…I thank my lucky stars everyday I get to live here…
Second, Have a sense of humor with all things: She had a quick sense of humor and said everything in life would be easier if you could laugh through it… She met my Dad on February 6th, got engaged on Valentine’s Day, and married on March 1st , 1946…A two and a half week courtship…They were together for over 53 years and I once asked her what was it like to be married for over half a century…she said, “It’s been the best five years of my life, a good day here, another there…it adds up”…
Third, Have a good work ethic: She had a guardian until she was eighteen and then was on her own…Before she married my Dad, she worked in a candy factory, a cinema, as a dealer in Reno, and finally after receiving her accounting certification, as an auditor the military bases in Hawaii…In 1942, Mom had saved $600 ($9,500 today) because she was hoping to buy a house…The money was stolen when she placed her wallet on the counter at her bank and she had turned her head momentarily to look into her purse…It was everything she had…Instead of crying, she went to her bosses at the factory and movie theatre and asked for additional hours…She worked 14 hour days while going to school five hours a day…She often fell asleep on her bus rides and the drivers would stop, wake her, and get her going…She ate ketchup mixed in hot water to make tomato soup and tons of day old popcorn…In nine months she lost 32 pounds and saved another $250…With that money she moved to Reno to work at a casino for better opportunities…She said often, no matter what trouble happens to you, just get up in the morning, show up, and do your job…Work, work, work, and in time, everything will come together and be alright…
Her words have always resonated with me and especially when I was close to bankruptcy twice in my life…The second time just two weeks before I was to declare, I kept remembering Mama’s words…Then I got a small consulting contract, then another, and then another…I made it through and today I’m still working and very happy to have the opportunity…
Fourth, Get an education: It was extremely important to her…She read volumes and she made sure all of her four children received a college degree…Something that had never been done in both my father’s and mother’s family until we accomplished this feat…The morning of my graduation from the University of Hawaii at Manoa when I walked to receive my sheepskin she was there and afterwards we repeated together the ceremony a bit as she turned my tassel on my cap again…She was so proud to have a daughter as a college graduate...Today I continue to be a voracious reader and study more then watch TV or movies…
Fifth, Love is LOVE: We were sitting together one evening when my little dog Nalu jumped onto the table and sat right in front of me, then licked my face…Mom looked at him and said, “That’s true love and he loves you deeply…It doesn’t matter who loves whom or whether it’s from a human, dog, cat, elephant, or monk seal…Love is LOVE and that is the greatest gift in the world.” She always told me, when you love someone, whether human or animal to love them completely with total acceptance of their flaws, foibles, or idiosyncrasies…She went on to say, don’t have a point system…When you do something for your friends or lovers, do it because you want to, not because you feel obligated…She often said, when people were jerks or mean-spirited, it was mainly because they were jealous or felt guilty…She believed it all came from insecurity and fear and this made a lot of people act in a toxic way…
While I agree with all of Mama’s lessons…I do unfortunately have a point system because of my age…I don’t care if someone is insecure, fearful, or feels bad about themselves…I do not like people who are douche bags…I always try to give folks the benefit of understanding and I give them two chances…But when they are disrespectful, hateful with words, or lie to me a third time…That’s it for me…I’m done…I write them off like a bad debt and they are cleaned out of my contact lists forever…
When in doubt, remember all of Mama’s lessons, but especially that Love is the greatest gift and it should never be taken for granted…